when it  feel only horrible and angry

I just have to say

"yes!You!
You have my MIDLE finger!"

but the words are never come out from my mouth.

there is only ...
"that's ok. never mind. (and filled with a sweet smile)"

hypocritical enough 

there is one more thing, that you have to learn in life...

chaos

how it come
how it adapted to your self
how it controled
how it end
and how it affects to you